As a host and mediator, I've witnessed firsthand how political differences can tear apart relationships. Recently, I observed a troubling trend that sparked an important conversation: "I've seen on Facebook where people are like if you are voting for this person or that person just unfriend me." This led me to ask: how can we maintain relationships in our increasingly divided world?
Seeking answers, I invited my friends Karen Boger and Carol Wachniak
for a candid chat about navigating friendships and even romantic relationships in these politically charged times.
One of the first topics we tackled was how political views have become deal-breakers, even in the dating world. Karen shared her observation: "It's really important to know what their political views are... you wouldn't think that would make you swipe right or left but you know it does." We discussed how this phenomenon reflects a deeper societal divide, where political alignment has become a shorthand for values and worldviews.
Karen brought up an insightful point about the role of social media in exacerbating these divisions. She noted, "Social media has allowed us to say things...that we would not do typically to someone's face." We explored how the anonymity and distance provided by screens embolden people to express extreme views or dismiss others entirely based on political differences.
As our conversation took a more spiritual turn, Carol shared a profound insight that struck a chord with all of us. She described what she called one of her "secret sauces" for connecting with others despite differences:
"If you take a minute and you look into somebody's eyes, the eyes never change from the day you were born to who you are now," Karen explained. "Your body might have gotten bigger, but when you look into somebody's eyes, you're still a one-day-old baby."
This perspective shift was powerful. It reminded us that beneath our political beliefs, our life experiences, and even our physical appearances, there's a fundamental humanity that we all share. Karen continued, "What wouldn't you do for that one-day-old baby? But if you can see the divinity in each other, it makes the world a much better place."
We discussed how this approach could transform our political conversations. By consciously choosing to see the divine spark in each person we encounter – regardless of their political affiliation – we create space for compassion, understanding, and genuine connection.
I found myself wondering how different our political landscape might be if we all took a moment to look into each other's eyes and recognize our shared humanity before engaging in debate. It's a simple act, but one with the potential to bridge even the widest divides.
As our conversation deepened, we explored a transformative concept that karen brought to the table: the idea of "power with" rather than "power over" others. "I think what I've been hearing lately is... the power over others is when we give our power away to the government or whatever it is," Carol explained. "But 'power with' others is a new thing to focus on."
We discussed how this shift in perspective could revolutionize our approach to political discussions and relationships. Instead of trying to dominate or convert others to our viewpoint, the 'power with' approach encourages collaboration and mutual understanding. It's about finding common ground and working together, even when we disagree on certain issues.
Karen added a practical dimension to this concept: "Focus on what you can do as a community, what you can do... in the kitchen table, the family, the immediate community." This localized approach to 'power with' others helps us feel less helpless in the face of large-scale political issues and more empowered to make a difference in our immediate surroundings.
One of the most striking insights came when we talked about the source of our personal power. As I reflected on our discussion, I realized, "There's power in what you're for," not what you're against. This shift in perspective - from opposition to proposition - can transform how we engage with those who hold different views.
As we wrapped up our conversation, I felt compelled to emphasize what I believe is the core of bridging any divide: "At the end of the day... the most important thing is how we treat each other." This simple truth, often overlooked in heated political debates, is the foundation for building understanding and maintaining relationships across ideological lines.
Our chat with Karen and Carol left me feeling hopeful. While the political landscape may seem more divided than ever, there are paths forward. By focusing on emotional intelligence, finding power in what we stand for, and prioritizing kindness, we can begin to bridge these divides.
